By Mainecoon

Reduced to a form no mightier than his child,
No stronger than a wind-blown whispered sigh.
Yet closer to womyn, man had never been
Nor will be ‘til again he kneels to cry.

The other woman, hidden far from view
And locked away inside a denied tomb;
The other woman, man’s forgotten soul,
Is guarded by a curse upon the womb.

For man must have his honor and his pride,
His firm resistance to a softer side.
Yes, man must wear a cloak of shabby steel,
Denying what he knows too well is real.

The other woman: man without his might
Escapes her prison deep within the man
To find us waiting, waiting for the light
That lights her eyes as she holds out her hand.

I’ll walk with you, my lovely other woman.
Come take my hand and lead me on our way.
When he has shed his tears, you may leave gently.
But, oh, return! Return some other day!

Man is the other woman, but too desperate
For power to ever let us all be one.
So wait in patience ‘til some sorrow finds him
And see the other woman’s work be done.

Man has his softer side, a side that is more like our own natural temperaments. Most of us have witnessed it at some point or another. When that side slips through, man becomes the other woman. I believe that is the reason why many womyn are so attracted to gay men. Gay men, for the most part, have allowed their delusion of power to slip away so that they become more of a human ideal, rather than a male or female ideal. It is my belief that in the natural order of things, men and womyn were not made to be so strikingly different in temperament. I believe the difference comes from a very widespread illusion: that men are obligated to be strong, unmovable, and dominating. It is a very American idea. There are still many places in the world where men do not feel pressured to be Supermen. They are human. In our culture of power domination, man is no longer human. He is demon. Women, too, are being fed false doctrines. Should we be stronger? What is too strong? Should we dominate the men? Should we let them dominate us?

Let it go. Ideally, domination is not the goal. Coexistence, however, is. My idea of a true coexistence is best demonstrated in the comic "ElfQuest" by Wendy and Richard Pini. In the society of the Wolfrider elves, the body is not a mysterious labyrinth. It is something every member of the society is comfortable with and therefore not afraid to be free with it. Males and females bathe sleep together unclothed, but it is not a matter of sexuality. In our society, two males bathing together is seen as a sign of homosexuality. Less than 100 years ago, it was normal. Less than 100 years ago, holding hands with a friend of the same sex in public was normal for both males and females. People bathed together, slept together, and were not generally uncomfortable with being naked together. Sex was not as big an issue. Our society has lost touch with that freedom. In loosing the freedom of casual intimacy, we loose the freedom of more personal relationships. The act of having sex is alternately seen as a thing to be ashamed of and a thing to flaunt like a badge of honor. In my opinion, both views are wrong. Sex is something that is done between lovers as an act of trust: the ultimate extent of being one with each other. It is a thing that is done for the purpose of reproducing. It is not a badge of any kind, nor is it something to be ashamed of.

My concept of femininity is thinking in terms of the ideal I just described. The ideal is to trust ourselves enough to be able to stand naked before anybody and not be ashamed. By taking away the destructive emphasis on the vast differences between male and female, we are then able to concentrate on the Self. When we take away the expectations of the media and society, we are left with the simple truth of who we are. The definition of that is for each person to discover for him or herself. In my search for that definition, I have discovered that male and female are essentially one and the same. We have different physical needs certainly, but in truth, our mental needs are not as different as they may seem. We have the same capacity for love, for sorrow, for joy and fear and hatred. We may react differently, but when you really get down to the basics, can’t you admit that a lot of our reactions are programmed and determined by who sees us react? I am far more likely to go into a rage over things when I am with certain people than with others, or by myself. Almost everyone I know is the same way.

So take away stereotypes, the pressure of the media, and programmed responses and what do you have? Man, a weaker mind with a strong body, and woman, a strong mind with a weaker body. We are essentially two types of humans with reversed qualities. There is woman, the truly passionate being, and man… who is the other woman. Man is the weaker woman.