Conversations with Sorrow

I smelled of stale cigarettes
My teeth are caked with film
I can feel my tampon overflowing
Blood catching in my underwear
A physical manifestation
Of the feeling so deeply seeded
That nothing will ever grow

I hang my head low
Shoulders stooped
Arms wrapped tightly
Around my immense form
Giving slight comfort
That no on else sees fit to give

Sitting in my car
Windows rolled down
Winter air swarming around me
As I shiver
Forcing myself to feel
Anything
But the ache is so strong
So old
It is all that I know

I see it
Covered in earth
Smothered in skin
Below the deep warring ocean tide
The core of all things fathomed and not

It’s in the lump in the pit of my stomach
The deep thudding in my head
It’s within my empty heart
My voice that shakes
My eyes tear stained

I’ve known it long
From first breath it seems
I wish it gone
Afraid it leaves

It’s my best friend
I know you think that’s odd
But I would not be me
With it gone

I hold my tightly
Within my hands
It’s just me and my sorrow
Until the end